ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
