Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
