Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
