Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
