Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
