what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
