Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
