Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
