What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
