Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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