Where did you get a picture of my penis
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize