No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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