I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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