I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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