That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
