So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
false alarm. still invincible.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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