My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
