i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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