i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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