Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
