I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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