i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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