we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
