Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
