I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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