dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
