Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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(540): View more from Virginia

'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"

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(+49): View more from Germany

we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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(770): View more from Georgia

ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!

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(951): View more from California

AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze

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