i think i have herpe
just one?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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