I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
