your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Couch. On fire.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
