loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
