This girl is more easily done than said...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
