All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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