Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
