And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
