bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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