Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
