Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
