This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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