My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
