did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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