the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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