You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
