to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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