Define "chronic" masturbator.
she looked like the before picture.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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