It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize