Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
