well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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