whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
