Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
