What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont even know how to be here
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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