What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
