True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
