Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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