I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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