Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
