Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
