omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
