we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
