He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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