My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
