I'm drive I can fine osifer
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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