Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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