i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
