He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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