You really coming over, don't trick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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