sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
