The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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