How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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