i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
