two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
